Reflections from A Letter to Anger

Hey Friends!

Have you ever seen the movie Inside Out ? If not, do not pass go &do not collect $200. Go directly to Disney+ and steam it. The gifs will make more sense if you do. The movie is based on how our emotions, such as anger, sadness, joy, disgust, and fear drive us in our everyday lives. Anyway, when I speak of anger, I will forever have this image in my mind thanks to Disney.

I did the most interesting thing a couple weeks ago during my therapy session. I wrote a letter to anger. I know this may sound very small but honestly, it was big. The letter in its simplicity, was so freeing. My therapist asked me why I was in therapy, and I gave a list of about eight legitimate reasons. Anger was the number two reason on my list. Freedom was the eighth.

Honestly, when she asked, I didn't even have to think about it. I just wrote. The way the reasons came out on paper, made it seem as if God had divinely placed the why's in my head. And without trying, the order was perfect. It started with the hard feelings and ended with freedom. Which ultimately, is always the goal. Freedom from the bondage of the hard emotions that are often times hard to let go of.

I would say the hardest part about the letter was focusing on what I had allowed anger to do to me, and not the reasons, situations, and/or people who has caused me to entertain anger in the first place. I don't know about you, but when I'm angry, the blame typically goes to whomever pissed me off. Fair right?

Before my last session, I never really looked at anger through the lenses of me having any role in it. Only from the point of view that I had been wronged in some way, and it being the other persons fault. I never really looked at my responsibility for managing my response to the wrong that had been committed.

In my letter I was able to address all the ways anger was keeping me from my best life. More so, how I'd allowed anger to keep me from my best life. Although my anger hasn't been blatant, it has been subtle enough to hinder me. Have you ever had that happen? This silent anger rising up in you? Constantly present, awaiting the moment to pounce? Well, surely I'm not the first. This is the perfect example of the rising anger:

In my letter I admitted that the anger was connected to pain. Connected to memories, that were so tainted that I could never view them the same. Have you been there? Really that's a tough place to be in. On so many levels. If I can be honest, any anger I found myself holding on to, was simply me being mad at myself for the things I didn't know and couldn't control.

So without a second thought, in my letter I forgave myself. Because honestly, I was more upset with myself than any of the other factors. In order to forgive others for their wrongs, I first had to release me. I had to actually acknowledge the anger I felt with myself and that was tough. Simply because, in acknowledging the anger I had with me, I also had to acknowledge the times when I knew better, and didn't do better.

Here's the lesson though, you can't beat yourself up about it. What's done is done. Friends, today I challenge you to release yourself and others from the anger you're holding. There's so much freedom and peace in letting go of the things you can't change.

Oprah put it best:

"Accept what has happened. Forgive others. Forgive yourself. Accept the now and give up the hope that the past could've been any thing other than what it actually was. Whatever happened, helped to make you, YOU." - Oprah

Healing is not linear my friends. In your healing journey stay committed and stay strong. Let go, let God, and allow Joy to get back in the control seat. One day, and moment at a time, continue to push through, and grow.

r

Let's chat soon.

-HH